Welcome to the ongoing saga of Thumper, aka Rob Cornfield. When last we heard from young Thumper, he was burned to a crisp somewhere in the mountains of Afghanistan (though, as these things go, the body was never recovered...). His friends and family mourned his loss in their own particular way. But "Thumper's Funeral" was not the end of the road. It was the edge of the driveway, the lip of the rabbithole through which I gladly tumble. The exploits will not always be his own, but he shall serve as a magnet that attracts the unstable, the reprehensible, the over-satiated, the frustrated, the lude, the cruel, the naive, and the men who define themselves by the simple creed of being "legit" (far beyond the age range where this is an acceptable orientation, if ever there were one). His travels have taken him all over the world, though he is of the type who is more impressed that his travels have taken him all over the country. This is a story without end. A story whose limits lie only in the mortality of I, your narrator.
There only remains Thumper's vital statistics:
Birth Name: Donald Robert Cornfield Jr., aka "Rob", aka "Thumper"
Hometown: Geneseo, NY
Height: 5'3
Weight: 165 lbs.
Education: Graduate of a small, though presitigious, Northeastern liberal arts college
Military Background: 2nd Lieutenant in the United States Army Air Cavalry Division
Marital Status: Single
Sexual Orientation: Straight
Life Status: Presumed Dead
"Thumper's Funeral" was my privilege to write, though I will not reproduce it here. To read the screenplay, please contact me. For now, enjoy these prose adventures (and they are adventures) and please excuse my occassional urge to editorialize. I am only human.
Check back soon for the first instalment: Haitian Vacation
